


Lost and Panicked

by Higgystar



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Gen, Kink Meme, M/M, Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 11:45:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1509275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgystar/pseuds/Higgystar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from the kink meme: Daryl is raped by a group of men and Shane is forced to watch. after witnessing such a distressing scene, Shane tries his best to coax Daryl back to the safety of their vehicles and get them somewhere safe.</p><p>Warning: This fic contains descriptions of rape and the aftermath of rape, please do not read if these themes are distressing to you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Panicked

It’s the most panicked that Shane has felt in a long time. Rick has run back to get the group ready to move on as soon as possible and left Shane here, to check they don’t come back and to defend everyone. He’s ready for it, men like that didn’t deserve to live and so much for ‘we don’t kill the living’ because right now he would shoot every single one of those fuckers if he could. A part of him wants to follow, to run off into the woods after them and chase them down, to fill them full of lead and let them suffer in pain before putting them out of their misery. He wants vengeance, he wants to uphold whatever law or morals still exist out here and take down people that have fallen so far so fast.

Instead he stands with his shotgun and tries to think of how the hell he’s going to get Daryl to move.

The other man is in no shape to move right now and after what he’d witnessed, Shane really can’t blame him. He’d watched, it sickened him to the core and yet he’d remained a silent witness to the event, the guns at his and Rick’s heads had stopped them from crying out a warning and they’d been forced to endure watching what they did.

He feels sick just thinking about it at all, but his mind won’t stop replaying everything over and over, making him cringe beneath his own skin and pace across the dirty ground. Daryl hasn’t moved, not since he’d dragged up his own pants and crawled to sit at the base of a tree, pressed against the roots and curled in on himself. Shane doesn’t know what to do, but he knows he can at least protect Daryl if the sons of bitches come back.

The thing is they had to go. Now. It wasn’t safe here and though he knows it’s selfish to think the way he does, he panics about the possibility of those men finding Lori and Carl. Breathing heavily he nods to himself, satisfied that the men had left and weren’t coming back, leaving him with Daryl alone in the clearing.

Letting his gun hang loose at his side, Shane walks over slowly, not wanting to startle the other man but knowing that time wasn’t a luxury anyone had anymore. Not when the scent of blood could draw in walkers. And though he hadn’t wanted to know, he knew that those men had made Daryl bleed.

Everything is silent around them as he tries to think of what the hell to say and do, as his brain replays the events again. Daryl pressed against the ground, naked from the waist down and fighting for the initial struggle, scrabbling and swearing until they’d gone too far. Shane had been forced to watch as Daryl went quiet, more quiet than he’d ever seen the man before. He could see the pain in his eyes, the way he buried himself down into the ground and though Shane knew, just knew that he must in pain, Daryl only ever made one small noise of distress the entire time.

For some reason that had made it all worse. Daryl hadn’t even been fighting back and those men hadn’t stopped. They’d just enjoyed it more, taking turns and laughing, making he and Rick watch as Daryl stayed quiet, curling up and taking the pain without a murmur. Again he wants to hurt them, go and find them and smash their faces to the ground until they looked like Ed had when he’d lost his temper before. But that wasn’t an option, he couldn’t leave Daryl here and they had to leave. Now.

Crouching down to the other man’s level Shane doesn’t dare reach out to him, not when Daryl flinches instinctively at him just being close. “Daryl.” His voice peters out after that, unsure what else there was to say. Apologies weren’t going to help and really there was no real comfort he could give right now to the smaller man.

He can see how badly Daryl is trembling, his entire body seems to be in shock and Shane doesn’t blame him. If he feels sick then he can only imagine how Daryl must feel. Daryl’s fingers are tangled in the fabric of his jeans, clinging to the clothing as if it might be torn off again and trying not to let that happen. He’s quivering, his breathing is harsh and Shane didn’t know a full grown man could look so small. It’s heart breaking and thought there’s no love lost between the two of them, right now he feels nothing but sympathy for Daryl Dixon.

Setting a hand on the dirt he places it between the two of them, not touching Daryl but making sure it’s in his peripheral vision enough to get his attention. “Daryl, I know this is hard, but we don’t have a choice. We need to get moving now.”

Daryl chokes, a startled laugh or maybe a sob, Shane isn’t sure but the sound is painful to listen to. It’s the most noise Daryl has made since it all began, and Shane wasn’t sure if he preferred the silence. The other man makes no other motion of understanding him, or of having the intention to move from where he stayed curled up.

“Man I know you don’t want to move.” He continues, swallowing back the anger and trying to make sure that Daryl knew none of it was directed at him. “I get that, but if we don’t we’re gonna get killed.” Glancing around the clearing he can’t hear the tell tale shuffling of walkers, but sometimes they could be fucking quiet if they wanted to. Shane is so focussed on checking for danger, he almost misses when Daryl answers him in a small voice.

“’st go.”

Nodding he’s glad he’s at least getting a response, and one that’s actual words this time. “Yeah we gotta go, so come on, I need you to get up.” He coaxes, wishing he could reach out and help the other man, give him some kind of physical support through all of this. They need to get somewhere they can hole up, the CDC would have every medical supply they would need and doctors who would be able to help Daryl through this all.

“’m staying.”

Blinking in surprise he leans a bit nearer to the other man, wanting to fucking shake him and get him listening properly. “No you ain’t.” He sighs, wiping at his mouth in frustration and trying to meet Daryl’s eyes, dipping his head to try and get in his line of sight. “I ain’t going without you, so you gotta move okay? I don’t wanna force you to Daryl, but we need to get moving.”

There’s no sign that Daryl had even heard him, let alone was willing to go with his request and start moving. Shane can smell the tang of blood in the air and is makes his stomach turn in revulsion and his fingers tighten around his gun. He can’t believe this has happened, he just needs to get them somewhere safe so they could deal with it properly.

“Why?”

Shane wonders if Daryl is even all there right now. He’s heard of some people retreating into themselves during times of stress, but Daryl never seemed the type before. But this wasn’t exactly a situation you would react to the same as others. Keeping his voice low he ends up sitting on the floor before the other man, still trying to catch his gaze and find some recognition there. “I told you man, we could get killed by walkers or something else.”

“No.” Daryl coughs, fingers tightening on his jeans and closing his eyes before blinking them open again, watching his own knees intently and not looking to Shane at all. “Why won’t you go without me?”

He hates this. He hates not knowing how to help or what Daryl needs to hear and for the first time he wishes they still had Merle here, because he may be a racist piece of shit, but he had more of a chance of helping Daryl than he did. Taking a calm breath he lets his hand rest in the dirt next to Daryl’s foot, not touching, but just there in silent support. “Because you don’t deserve to be left here.”

Daryl chews on his lip, his fingers clenching and unclenching on his jeans, breathing hard and just looking so lost. The silence makes Shane uneasy but he doesn’t dare interrupt it at the moment, not when he’s not exactly sure what to say and what Daryl needs right now. It’s awful and the seconds tick by so slowly, he wants to move just to have something to do, but he doesn’t want to lose the few inches of trust that he’d gained.

“I…I couldn’t stop them.”

Shane is confused for a second, not that he doesn’t know what Daryl is talking about, but he’s not exactly sure where the comment had come from. But if Daryl was talking, he wasn’t going to stop him, not if it would get them moving along faster. “I know man, there was nothing you could have done.” He agrees, keeping his voice calm when he hears Daryl’s begin to catch with distress.

“I tried.” Daryl swallows, and Shane can see the shock and pain in his eyes when the other man looks at him. “I did, I really did, I just couldn’t make them stop.”

“I know, it’s all right Daryl.” He’s fully aware that it’s not all right and that it’s likely things would never be the same again, but it’s the only reassuring words he can think of right now.

Suddenly Daryl is grabbing at him, his shaking hands holding tightly onto Shane’s shirt and yanking him closer. “No, please. I’m not weak, I can fight, I can protect myself I swear I just froze, I didn’t mean to, I’ve never… I tried.” Daryl sounds frantic, breathing heavily and seemingly desperate to make him understand. Shane doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t want to make this worse, but Daryl really looks panicked right now.

Gently he takes a hold of Daryl’s wrists, not pulling him away, but just framing Daryl’s wrists with his fingers, barely any pressure there at all as he tries to calm him down. “No one is saying you’re weak Daryl, you were outnumbered. There was nothing you could have done. It’s not your fault.” He explains, slowly, trying to get Daryl to focus on him and stop his gaze from flitting back and forth.

“I’m not a bitch.” Daryl hiccups and Christ Shane really doesn’t know if he can deal with any tears right now. “I didn’t want it, you know I didn’t. I didn’t want it. They just…there were too many and I couldn’t make them stop.”

“Daryl.” He tries to get his attention, to get him to breathe and keep the noise down for both of their sakes. “Daryl it’s fine. It’s okay. I understand, I know you didn’t want it, I know man, it’s okay.” Rick would be much better at this than him, but Rick wasn’t here right now and he needed to get Daryl somewhere safe, he needed to get the man calm and stop blaming himself for what had happened.

“I didn’t enjoy it, I didn’t want it Shane.” Daryl’s shaking so hard, tears are coursing down his face, running through the dirt that they all seem to be covered in. “Honest I didn’t, I ain’t like that. I ain’t. Oh God they just…they wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t stop them. Please don’t tell anyone, please don’t, please Shane no one has to know.”

It’s the utter panic and belief that he’s going to tell everyone that really breaks Shane’s heart. He’d never say anything about this to anyone, he can practically feel the shame and humiliation rolling from Daryl as the other man continues to cling to him, almost begging for his understanding and silence. He tries to hush him, tries to help however he can and stop Daryl from freaking out as much as he was. “Daryl, I’m not going to tell a soul. Neither will Rick, I swear.”

“I ain’t like that, I ain’t Shane, please, please don’t tell no one.” It’s painful to know that the thing Daryl is most worried about was Shane thinking he’d wanted any part of what had happened. “I did try to stop it, I fought, I just couldn’t get them to stop t-touching me…”

Shane knows they don’t have long, but he wants to help Daryl as much as possible. “I know man, I know, but we gotta go okay?” He stands, dragging up the other man to join him with the grip he still has on his wrists, keeping him close and making sure to keep Daryl’s eyes on him. “I know this is hard but we’ve got to go now. I ain’t gonna say a word, but we’ve got to move you hear?”

Daryl hiccups again, sniffling and sobbing with a shaky nod, still quietly pleading with Shane to understand that he hadn’t wanted any of it. He continues the litany of soothing words, half guiding and half dragging Daryl through the woods and back to the cars, desperate to just get in the vehicles and get away from here. It takes longer than he’d like and he can only give Rick a tight nod as he helps Daryl into his jeep, sliding in alongside the other man and starting the car as quickly as he could.

He continues talking the entire drive, keeping his voice calm and gentle, just repeating himself over and over to keep Daryl calm and focussed on the here and now. The other man is still shaking, and muttering to himself in a panic, but Shane just makes sure to keep reminding him that it’s all right, he’s okay and that Shane wasn’t going to tell a soul. It’s not until their drive is almost over that he figures he’s reassuring himself just as much as he is Daryl.


End file.
